Of Gaea Page 18

  “Would you prefer your Grace? You’re most Esteemed? You are a Goddess after all.”

  Ari didn’t answer him. She would not sink to his level. Resolutely she walked in stony silence all the way back to the house.

  Surprisingly, Ghita waited on the sidewalk in front of the house. She gave a once over to Leonidas then nodded briefly.

  “Your position is duly noted,” she said to him.

  Even more surprisingly Leonidas nodded and gave a curt bow. “I take my leave.”

  He was out of sight by the time Ari could think correctly again. “What was that about?”

  “Soothing Spartan pride isn’t a hard thing once you learn how.” She took the bag from Ari and walked around the house. With reluctance, Ari followed.

  “I don’t want to fight with you.” Ari began when Ghita set the bag down on the back porch and turned.

  Ghita smiled. “It does seem to be all we do anymore, doesn’t it?” She motioned to the trees. “Walk with me.”

  Ari nodded surprised and followed her through the backyard and onto the trail in the woods. Ghita never walked in the woods. At least Ari had never seen it in all the time they had lived there.

  The cool shadows of the forest and quiet murmur of its residents brought Ari peace like it always did. Content, she didn’t speak but let Ghita lead the way down the path.

  There was something odd about walking through the trees with Ghita. Ari didn’t realize what it was until they reached a small stream and Ghita slipped on the rocks. Ari grabbed her arm even as the unnatural noise seemed to echo unusually loud. Ghita walked the forest as noiselessly as Ari did.

  “Thank you.” She moved to a flat rock that sat higher than the stream and sat. Ari mimicked her action and sat right where she stood, the edges of the skirt dangled in the water. Ari faced her and waited.

  Ghita wasn’t even looking at her but out passed the stream; passed the trees, out to something Ari couldn’t and probably would never will see. She wasn’t as pristine as Ari’s memory recalled. As she studied Ghita, Ari could pick out wrinkles in her aunt’s face Ari didn’t ever remember being there before. The pressed seams in Ghita’s pants and shirt weren’t as crisp. Her hair seemed flat. She looked tired. Fatigue radiated from her.

  “I am sorry.” Ghita spoke without looking at her. “I am not a good mother.” She smiled bitterly. “I don’t think I ever would have been regardless of whether or not you were truly mine.”

  Ari drew up her knees, wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on top. She waited.

  “You deserve so much more, but I am glad we are here.” Ghita looked at her then, studied her without looking through her. “You are more than I was at your age. More than Lyris and I were combined. It’s still raw and a bit wild, but I’m sure when Grandmother arrives she’ll fix that.”

  “Grandmother?”

  She nodded. “I sent a letter, snail mailed to your great-grandmother; my grandmother. It will buy you some time. She shouldn’t receive it until around your birthday. We’ll all know your fate by then.”

  “The guild will come.” Ari murmured thinking of Sasha.

  “They’re already here.” She looked away from Ari’s shock. “They have always been nearby.”

  “Kleisthenes?”

  She nodded. “He is the Guild Master. He is the one all the guild leaders turn to. He is the property owner for all of Sparta, Greece. It’s not something I expect you to understand. I’ve never explained our ways, and I’ll not start now. It’s archaic anyhow.”

  “Why are you telling me this then?”

  “Because I’m leaving. I’m taking Lyris and we’re going away. Tonight.” She looked back at Ari then. “You’ll never see us again.”

  Ari jumped to her feet before she realized she had even decided to move. “You can’t.”

  Ghita laughed lightly. “You don’t need me; that is apparent. You spend most of your time with Kleisthenes anyway. You certainly don’t need the stress and strain that is Lyris. She is my burden; I will not pass that off on you.”

  “But… I don’t understand. If they know, they’ll come. Sasha…”

  Her eyes were kind. “I doubt anyone, including a group of pompous old men, could take Sasha from you.”

  “Leonidas said…”

  She waved it away. “Leonidas speaks truth, but only one side of it and usually the most painful side because that’s who his father was. What do you want Ariadne?”

  Ari wrapped her arms around herself. “To be safe. To have Sasha.”

  “Then that’s what you will have. The will of Gaea is rarely, very rarely, ignored. And your will is so much stronger. Those old fools won’t know what to do with you. I leave you with a piece of advice. Never change who you are. Not for them, not for Sasha. Be the proud, strong woman I see right here. If you hold on to her, no one in this world will be able to stop you.”

  “Why must you leave? Can’t you stay?” Ari hated how childish she sounded and even though they rarely got along Ari was scared to be without her. She knew Ghita. She didn’t know the people Ghita referenced.

  Ghita shook her head. “It’s safer. For you, and for us if we’re not here when you turn eighteen. Once you do, well, we’ll see.”

  “How will I live? I don’t have a job, or a car.”

  “Everything you’ll need will be on the kitchen table. I would not have decided on this if I did not think you could do it.” She stood and jumped down to Ari’s level. She landed soundlessly on the wet stone. Ghita held Ari’s face in both hands and kissed her forehead. “I am proud of you. You are a wonderful person. A person I wish I had the strength to be sometimes. Gaea keep you safe.” She let Ari go and she watched her aunt vanish into the trees.

  Ari sat back down and rocked for some time, then cried. She hadn’t said anything that needed to be said. She wouldn’t be the person she was if it hadn’t been for Ghita.

  When the owls began to hoot signaling the sun’s descent Ari stood. She couldn’t wallow any longer. She had to see Kleisthenes and figure out what to do about Sasha. She had to plan her future. If she was going to die next week it wouldn’t be because she wasn’t ready for it.

  The walk seemed longer and lonelier somehow on the way back though the latter wasn’t rational. She could see the forest animals that walked with her. Ari could feel them too if she focused on their presence. Their love and respect for who she was humbled her. They would die for her without hesitation.

  Ari was grateful for her impromptu escort. The setting sun cast long shadows that had her tense and ready for things to jump out of them. She was relieved to see the edge of the trees and exited the woods into Sasha’s backyard.

  Her escort did not follow for obvious reasons. Ari turned to the trees and made eye contact with those that had protected her. She dipped her head to them and they returned the gesture and faded back into the forest.

  “Ari!” Sasha’s relieved shout pummeled her back. “You’re safe.”

  Before she could turn and face him she was swallowed in Sasha’s arms. His scent filled her nose even as he squeezed tight enough to cut off air.

  “I’m sorry.” His voice was low, and raspy.

  Ari pulled back enough to see the tears threatening to spill over in his eyes.

  “I didn’t mean… I don’t want you to think… The guild…”

  Ari shushed him with her hand. “The guild has nothing to do with us. Nothing. Will you answer me this time?”

  One of his hands moved from its grasp to cover her hand. He moved her hand to his cheek. His eyes closed a moment and a single tear was freed and traversed the lines in his face.

  “Sasha?”

  “I would bring down the sky, if it meant I was able to stay with you always.” He turned his head and kissed her open palm. “Here is the deepest secret nobody knows; here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide; and this is the w
onder that’s keeping the stars apart I carry your heart; I carry it in my heart.”

  Ari couldn’t prevent the swell of emotion that rushed through her. She couldn’t even tell what emotions were spinning in disbelief and joy. Poetry. Sasha had just quoted poetry to her.

  “Sasha… I…” Forming words through her dazed mind and swelling heart was not possible.

  His forehead dropped to hers. “I am empty without you. I’ve loved you since we were four and you declared homicide against a pink bicycle. I’ve loved you since you knocked me on my ass and declared yourself champion of my backyard. I’ve loved you forever, even knowing, I cannot keep you. Please don’t send me away. Ask me anything else Ari, and I will give it, but don’t ask me to leave your side. Please…”

  “Sasha…”

  “I’ve always held onto hope. I’ve hoped that Gaea would hear me, that she would see that I loved the beautiful, kind woman that is Ariadne. I’ve hoped that Gaea would show me what I had to do to stay with you forever. You ripped out my heart when you left. I didn’t know if you were coming back or where you had gone. I didn’t know if you were injured and needed me or if…”

  “I was injured.” Ari spoke in a whisper. “I was broken. To think that you love Gaea and I was just… here. To think that all this time I was nothing to you…”

  “Never.” Sasha’s hold tightened. “Never think that. If you weren’t Gaea and just a normal girl on the street, I would have found a way to be with you, granted that would have been easier. The Spartan laws wouldn’t hold so many restrictions. I will be anything and everything you need me to be, Ari. For you, not Gaea. For Ariadne.”

  “Be who you’ve always been, Sasha. That’s what I need. I need you to be the man you’ve always been.” Ari kissed the tip of his nose, “Have faith Gaea will take care of the rest.”

  “Hey, you two!” Kleisthenes shouted from the porch, “Supper’s ready.”

  Sasha stepped back and let go. He smiled. “Come on. You can tell us what you’ve been doing while you’ve been away.”

  The house was silent and asleep when Ari crept out later. Dinner had been boisterous fun like always and she had easily told the men what she had been up to. At the moment though, as the men slept and the moon grew small in the sky, she wasn’t interested in the past. She was interested in the future.

  Ari left Sasha’s house and returned to her own. When she stepped inside, it felt empty. Which was wrong; all the furniture still sat in familiar places. Even without Ghita telling her, Ari knew she was gone.

  Out of habit Ari walked through and turned all the lights on. It didn’t change that feeling of emptiness. There were items missing, familiar signs she knew her aunt for, that were gone.

  Some of the pictures that had hung on the walls were gone but new pictures replaced them. Pictures Ari had never seen before of family and events she had no knowledge of. Jewelry that would have been removed and discarded into the bowl on the sidebar was gone.

  When she walked into what should have been Ghita’s room her emotions were conflicted. There was no indication that anyone had ever lived there. A computer desk rested under the window that faced the front, and a laptop hummed quietly on its surface. Along the adjacent wall shelves had been built and all the trophies Ari had ever won were neatly displayed. All her ribbons from before she won trophies were on the smaller wall with the door. What should have been Ghita’s room was nothing more than a trophy room.

  The fact that Ghita had gone through the trouble to set it up made her happy and yet sad at the same time. She wasn’t here to share it. She wasn’t there to bitch about how much work it had been. Silently Ari left the room and closed the door behind her.

  She sat heavily in her usual chair at the kitchen table. The shoebox with her name on it was ignored for a moment as she let the finality of Ghita’s actions wash through and over her.

  Fear was the strongest emotion throughout her inner turmoil. Fear of what’s next left a copper taste in her mouth and sweaty palms in her lap. The shoebox mocked her.

  A line from a book she had read once popped into her mind, “Fear is the mind-killer.” It was true. Inhale, exhale. When she felt she was ready, Ari reached for the box and lifted the lid.

  The first thing on top was a manila envelope. Ari opened it and poured the contents out on the table. A Virginia driver’s license, social security card, passport, a Greek ID, various bank cards, a check book, a set of keys and another envelope spilled across the table. She didn’t recognize the IDs; she knew she had never applied for them.

  Ari picked up the envelope and opened it. A letter was neatly folded inside with yet another sealed envelope. The new envelope was wrapped with a red ribbon. Before she opened it she looked at the letter that it was wrapped in.

  From your mother. She already had the envelope sealed and tied when she handed it to me. I love her enough not to intrude. We love you. ~Ghita

  Puzzled, Ari examined the sealed envelope more carefully. There was nothing odd about it. The ribbon had been tied into an elaborate knot that she hated to untie. She would not be able to retie it later. Carefully she undid the ribbon and pulled out the letter.

  To my Beloved,

  I will not apologize as I am sure you’ve heard enough of it to last a lifetime. My lucid moments are becoming further and further apart and before I lose what remains of my consciousness I write this.

  Ghita fears, and rightly so, but I have seen things she has not. Things Gaea had shown me before Ghita destroyed the precarious foundation. Death is not an ending and the choice you will have to make will result in mine. I have seen it.

  Do not be sad for this. I pray that it is so. Already the hell that I have endured is tiring. It’s tiring to fight into self-awareness every day. There will be a day I cannot, when the fatigue is too great to bother trying and I know this too.

  Trust in Gaea. I cannot emphasize that enough. Trust the Mother. We are of her, but we are her and we are ourselves. This may confuse you now, but when your choice comes you will understand. I promise.

  Live, my most precious. Live and love and learn. Be free as I can never be again and as Ghita never was. In freedom, you will find all the answers.

  Already it is a strain to maintain my rational thoughts in such a short letter. I will seal this away and give it to Ghita, who will no doubt hold on to it until the last possible moment. I love my sister, she is my other half, but she can sometimes be so blind to the truth that it clouds her judgment. I pray you have the courage to do what I did not have the strength for. You must do what we could not or all will be lost. There will be no such thing as joy, peace, or love in a world in which you have failed.

  Know that my soul still holds faith to Gaea, even as I am wracked with pain and delusions from the Tainted.

  My love is eternal,

  Mommy

  Ari sniffled and fought back tears. Lyris was so strong, so brave to be able to write those words knowing what they meant. It left Ari to wonder, could those that have been Tainted or Purified (she guessed was the term) come back from that poisoning? Was there a way to save her mother that didn’t result in death? Lyris had said she saw her own death, so maybe not, but what if Ari could?

  The rest of the shoe box was pictures from various points in her life, report cards from her younger years, and surprisingly other letters that were never opened. When Ari looked at the postage and return address they came from Greece in care of Kleisthenes for her. Some of the names she recognized as people Kleisthenes had pointed out in the photos that were in her room at his house. Other names weren’t familiar at all. Ari sorted them into date order.

  At the very bottom of the shoe box bank statements were carefully grouped under the letters that she assumed were connected to the bank cards by the matching logos. She set those aside for later and began sifting through the letters and reading.

  About half way through, Ari got up to get paper, pens, and envelopes. Apparently she was predictable because she found every
thing she needed including a huge stack of international envelopes and stamps in the closet of the trophy room. Ari set everything up on the table, brewed some tea, made a plate of cookies, and then went back to the letters.

  There were consistent ones that drew her attention immediately. A letter arrived without fail every Friday from an Envoy named Miera for the last thirteen years. She was full of information and rambling, and was just plain friendly. She spoke of outings with Thalia and Leonidas. In her letters he didn’t sound as much of an ass as he had portrayed. Her thoughts and fears were in there as well. Of things that had been happening that they had never seen before. She never asked for guidance or wisdom. She simply wrote. She wrote religiously even without a return letter. Ari had to write her back.

  Others were not as frequent; her grandmother’s letters arrived every year on her birthday, with a small envelope sized gift enclosed. Ari had received gifts from plants seeds that were “special” according to Grandmother’s words, to jewelry.

  Another group of letters came from the merchants’ guild once a year for the last four years demanding Gaea’s blessing on several ventures. There were a few from random people that identified themselves as Guild Masters and demanded Gaea’s obedience on several matters. Those were going to get a letter back as well, though not, what they had hoped for.

  When the sun peaked over the trees and through the dining room windows, Ari traded her tea for coffee and gathered up her letters. Every single one of them was done and she had over eighty dollars of postage that needed to go down to the post office.

  She had also reviewed the bank statements, but that had only left her with questions she knew Kleisthenes was not yet awake to answer. There were monthly deposits that if were correct would mean that Ari was filthy rich. Since she knew she obviously wasn’t, she wanted Kleisthenes to go over the papers with her.

  Ari felt no fatigue, even with only five hours of sleep, so she showered and dressed for the day. Her letters went into a messenger bag, keys went into one of the pockets of her jeans and she dropped the IDs, bank cards and credit cards into a zipper pocket of the messenger bag. She wouldn’t use them until she talked to Kleisthenes but it would be wise to have them just in case. As an afterthought Ari wrapped up the bank statements and dropped them in the bag as well. The cell phone Kleisthenes had given her was over at his house. She would just go without.